Thanksgiving in Community

"Stop wasting time running after the perfect community. Live your life fully in your community today."

- Jean Vanier, founder of L'Arche, an international association of communities for people with disabilities and those who love and care for them

It is so easy for us to get caught up in expectations of perfection. My brother-in-law posted a video the other day about the number one thing that kills relationships, and that is "unmet expectations." We expect all kinds of relationships to be perfect - romantic relationships, friendships, business relationships, church relationships...

When we seek a perfect relationship, or a perfect community, we are going to be let down every. single. time. Our relationships are human-built, and we know that none of us are perfect.

To avoid the dissatisfaction that comes from unmet expectations, I believe we should take the advice of Jean Vanier quoted above. Let's stop looking for perfection in our relationships and communities. Instead, we should embrace those communities and relationships in our lives.

And since today is Thanksgiving, it's the perfect opportunity to give thanks for our perfectly imperfect communities. So indulge me as I show gratitude for mine:

• My family community. I'm thankful for the ones who love and support me so well. Not perfectly, but well. They have such good hearts and want what's best for me, and they'll move heaven and earth to make it happen. I'm so grateful for them.
• My friendship community. I'm glad for my friends. When life keeps us busy, and we don't see each other as often as we should, they are there for me when I need them. They pretend that no time has passed between texts, phone calls, and visits.
• My school community. I'm thankful for my friends and all of the faculty and staff at Columbia Theological Seminary. I learn so much from all of them, and even in their imperfection, they show love in ways that makes this world a better place.
• My work community. I truly appreciate the staff I work with. Though each of us is human, we work together in harmony and seek to serve with grace. Even on difficult days, they know how to make me laugh. It's a blessing to work with them.
• My church community. We all know that churches are filled with imperfect people; Jesus said it is not well people who need a hospital, but the sick. Even so, our church family is kind and precious. It is a joy to watch them love each other so tenderly.

Not one of these communities is perfect, but I am grateful for them. They fill me up with so much love and hope; they show such grace; they inspire me to grow. So I give thanks for these communities, and in a show of gratitude, I will choose to live my life fully within each of them.

None of my relationships are perfect either. Marriage takes work, and so does parenting. But I don't know of anywhere else I'd like to do the work that's required in being a good wife and a good mom. Instead of holding my husband and my son - and truthfully, myself - to impossible standards of perfection, I want to just be grateful. They fill my life with such joy, even in the hard times. Even in the imperfection.

So on this Thanksgiving Day, may we show gratitude for the communities where you've been planted. May we commit ourselves to living and loving fully within them. May we live in these communities and these relationships with joy and thanks.  

Photo by Pro Church Media on Unsplash